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Four young women open the doors to their bedroom and share their deepest darkest secret: their number of sexual partners.

MISS W Photo taken by Jordan Tredinnick

MISS X Photo taken by Jordan Tredinnick

Miss X       

Miss X, 20, has had 10 sexual partners in the four years she has been sexually active. She has been in a serious relationship for just over a year. Known for her partying ways in High School, Miss X has changed her view on sex since being in a serious relationship. She is content with her number of sexual partners, but says it has been a large issue in her relationship.

What do you think about the number of people you have slept with?

It doesn’t really bother me, I can’t change it. Now I’m in a serious relationship I don’t really think about it. It’s not like the number is growing or anything.

Has the number of people you have slept with ever been an issue in your relationship?

Yes!! We have the same friends from high school, and a lot of them are old flames of mine. When we first got together, whenever we went to parties or anything like that we would have a massive fight about it. In my gap year I went overseas for a year, and slept with a few people, as you do.  When my boyfriend and I got together I told him everything, and he blew up about it. He dumped me over it in a rage, but we got back together. Whenever I talked about my trip he would get so angry and abuse me calling me a slut and stuff. In the end we just agreed to not talk about my trip at all, because when we did it would just cause a massive fight. It was a huge issue at the beginning of our relationship, but after a year it’s not so much of an issue anymore.

Have you ever had a one night stand?

Yeah, I’ve had one night stands, and afterwards I felt hung over. When it happened I didn’t care and I didn’t feel ashamed. It was fun, and at that time in my life I had no ties and no responsibilities, so I figured why not?

How do you feel about one night stands?

I honestly have never really thought about it. I think after being in a long term relationship my feelings towards one night stands are different. I don’t think I would ever be able to have one again.

Do you judge people based on the number of people they have had sex with?

I wouldn’t judge someone; I mean each to their own. And in all honesty some people do it for a living which is their choice- not mine. It’s just sex after all.

 

Miss Y

Miss Y is a gold star- that is she has slept with only women. Her first sexual experience was at the age of 16, and at 26 years of age she has accumulated approximately 20 sexual partners. Miss Y sees sex in a more relaxed way, and says there is a very big difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals in this respect. Miss Y is currently in a serious relationship, for which she left her home country of England for.

What do you think about the number of sexual partners you have had?

I think it’s rather low. In the whole scale of things compared to who I hung out with back in England it’s pretty low. But I’ve had a lot more partners than my current partner so it’s all relative.

What do you think other people think about your number?

I don’t really go around broadcasting it, but if I told people they’d probably think I was a dirty stopout. I don’t really care though, I’m quite proud of the fact that I’ve slept with that amount of people- it’s their problem not mine.

How do you see sex as a part of our society?

I think maybe it’s different between heterosexuals and homosexuals. All the lesbians I knew back home, we all slept with everyone because you could all just be friends and hook up- it wasn’t a big deal. It was just something that you just did and it was a bit of fun and it was harmless. But I think maybe with straight people, women who sleep with a lot of men are seen as sluts whereas if the men sleep with a lot of women then their like “the man”. So I think it’s more of a casual thing in the gay scene where it’s all a bit of fun.

Do you ever judge someone based on the number of people they have slept with?

No, I don’t think so because I suppose you could say a women that has slept with a lot of people is a slut, but then you could also see her as a women of experience who knows what she’s doing- and that’s how I like to look at it.

MISS Z Photo taken by Jordan Tredinnick

Miss Z

Miss Z, 21, has never had a one night stand, but thinks that men would judge her harshly if they knew that she had slept with 12 people. She says that she judges people harshly based on what she hears about their sexual history, and thinks it’s sad that women think that sex is the only thing they have to offer to men. She is uncomfortable with her number, choosing to never share her number of sexual partners with any of her partners in fear that they will judge her.

How do you feel about the number of people you have slept with?

I don’t have one night stands or anything. It’s all been with people I’ve been in a relationship with. So yeah I’m pretty confident with myself and I stay true to myself and have self respect, so I feel ok about my number.

Do you care what other people think about the number of people you have slept with?

Maybe, I don’t know. I’d say yes, but then it’s not too many people, but other people may think it is too many and think I’m a slut- which is not who I am. Some people who have different morals might think I’m a different person to what I really am.

Have you ever discussed the number of people you have slept with in a relationship?

Not in detail. People always ask and I always say “I’m not telling”, because with guys no matter what number it is they always think it is too much. So it could be two and they would be like “oh my god”! So I think it’s safer to just say nothing.

Have you ever judged someone based on the number of their sexual partners?

Yes. I’m a judgemental person anyway, and if that’s the first thing I hear about someone before I meet them then I’ll judge them. I judge them how society sees them; like I see them as a slut. I feel so bad when I judge them and I just want to say to them, “you don’t have to do that”. I just wish girls would think a bit more and think that that they could use their brains and not just use sex to get what they want, because I think that backfires a lot.

Do you believe a person is defined by the number of sexual partners they’ve had?

It does in our society. If it’s known about a person then it does, because you go “oh that’s so and so and she’s a slut,” or “she slept with this person last week”. But it doesn’t really define someone; it’s just how society sees it. The number of people you’ve slept with really has nothing to do with how good you are as a person.

How do you see sex as part of our society?

I think young girls think that’s all they have to offer, and I think that’s really changed from previous generations. I think it might have to do with the sort of celebrities we have, where a lot of them have become famous because of sex video’s and stuff. I think self-esteem issues are a part of it too. I think it’s changed for the worst because girl’s think, “well if I want a guy to talk to me or like me, I have to give it up or at least look like I will”.

 

To see what guys really think see How Many is Too Many?